About 2 years ago, I became obsessed with reading books about Mount Everest. John Kraukauer (author of Into the Wild), was definitely the impetus behind my newfound habit with his book about the 1996 failed Everest Expedition: Into Thin Air. After I had my way with Kraukauer, I continued devouring everything I could find on the topic of Mount Everest. I delved into conflicting accounts of the disastrous 1996 expedition, rebuttals to Kraukauer’s book, written by Antoli Boukreev, Sandy Pittman and Lopsang Sherpa . I read High Crimes, a testament to the exploitation and greed that has run rampant on Everest in recent years. These exhausted I moved on to other years and other expeditions. Then when I ran out of Everest material entirely, I had to move on to books about K2 and other mountains to fuel my obsession
Time and time again, I endured the dirty looks of librarians as I routinely cleared out their climbing section – a library faux pas. Soon I had my entire family on the reading rampage as well. The Everest obsession left no one in my immediate vicinity unscathed, including my husband who dotingly referred to me as Lopsang Mummy and we found ourselves speaking in Everest lingo around the house in conversations that went a little something like:
“Oh where is Lopsang Mummy (me) going. Is she going to Sherpa you some oxygen (milk) up to base camp (crib). Look, Lopsang Mummy is crossing the Hilary Step (coming up the driveway).”
Perhaps at the heart of such dialogue, was the claim by Scott Fischer and many others guiding on Everest in recent years: that anyone can get to the top of Everest these days. With Sherpas to carry all of your food and belongings to the top for, bottled oxygen to help you survive the thin air, and guides to set your lines for you – and in some cases almost literally carry you to the top - it appears they really have built a yellow brick road to the summit.
My husband is an intelligent man and this information was not lost on him; after a few weeks of our Lopsang Mommy dialogue and continued reading by all parties,he uneasily probed me:
“You aren’t going to decide you want to climb Everest in 10 years are you, you know when Tristan is 11 or 12 and you have your mid-life crisis?”
He warned me in no uncertain terms, that I – Lopsang Mummy – would not be climbing Everest any-time soon, even if they had built a freeway to the top.
When I thought seriously about it, there was no way in hell I would even consider climbing Everest – even if I was offered an all-expenses paid trip (a gift of around $100,000 a pop these days). While I enjoyed reading about life and death on Everest, I – Lopsang Mummy - had no desire to test my mortality in this way. My mother always warned me that I was not immortal: “You aren’t invisible you know,” was how she liked to put it to me when I was a teenager, and while I may not have recognized it at the time, years later as a new mother I had a clear appreciation for the tenuous hold we all have on existence(perhaps best evidenced by my newfound habit of back-seat driving my poor husband).
I wondered however, or rather my obsession made me question: had I secretly hidden or repressed a mountaineers dreams???
When I began to consciously explore what led to my obsession for these books I realized it was not as my husband fearfully suspected: I had not the hidden dreams and aspirations of a stifled mountaineer. Instead, it was the fact that these books gave me access to a realm entirely outside of my daily existence.
We can step out of our bubble in so many different ways, through a book that transports us to another world, a movie that takes us to another time and place, or an activity that takes us out of comfort zone. What I remember most about my first summer in Waterton is how many times I had the opportunity to step out of my bubble, whether it was hiking or sleeping in a tent when I was afraid of bears, knee-boarding when I’m afraid of sea monsters, or hiking in the dark (obviously I’m afraid of Cougars also). Engaging in an activity, even though it poses no great degree of realistic danger, but still makes us feel slightly uncomfortable, offers us the chance to take a little leap of faith as human beings and place our lives in the hands of the universe. When we return no worse for the wear after stepping outside of that comfort zone most of us walk around in each day, I think we grow a little bit as humans; at the very least we are left exhilarated and endowed with a proud sense of accomplishment - whether or not the danger was real or imagined.
My days of great adventure are over for a few years; these days, stepping out of my bubble may be limited to the escapism found in books. With an 8 month old baby, this Lopsang Mummy will not be scaling peaks anytime soon. The closest I will probably come to an immortal mountaineer in the next few years, will probably be Sherpa-ing around my son Tristan’s diaper bag. However, living in the mountains daily I am given the opportunity to be inspired and challenged by nature and on the horizon, there well could be a mid-life crisis trip to Everest base camp (but no further – I promise). Or perhaps even a hike to the top of Cleveland one day, a great peak on the U.S. side of Waterton Lakes.
In order to climb this mountain, you must first set up a base camp. And Cleveland is a mountain I am told is: exactly, one third, the size of Everest……
By Auralea Boldt
